Wednesday, May 12, 2010

A day in the life of Julia

Read below if you want to laugh and hopefully feel sorry for me...

A normal Tuesday turned out to be quite an eventful evening for me. I decided to go up to Sandy to pick up the plates to my new car and get an oil change. (If you know anything about me, you'd know I HATE driving to,in,around, from Salt Lake.) Since Darren was 'working' late it was just Corbster and I. I picked him up from grandma, swung by the house to grab my cell phone I'd left at home, and headed to Sandy. Luckily Corbin fell asleep, but using his baby physc sense to wake up as we're exiting the freeway. We grabbed some food and headed to the dealer. After dropping my car off at the service center I lugged Corbin, my purse, the diaper bag, food, and drink into the kids play room. It started off OK, I ate dinner and all was well Corbin was playing and being really good. But then he grew silent... this is code for poopy.. So I went to change him and to my horrifying realization there was not a diaper in sight!

S*&%!... literally..

Desperate attempt #1 I asked the cashier if my some miracle they had an extra clean diaper laying around for a mom like me that apparently wasn't smart enough to bring one. It was a long shot, but no they didn't have one.

When I dropped my car off they said about 45 mins.. it had been 10 mins so far. That is a LONG time for him to sit in a dirty diaper, he'd probably get a really bad rash and get it all over his clothes if I didn't act fast.

Desperate attempt #2 I asked the service guy if there was a loaner car I could take, it was pouring rain and nothing was close enough to walk to. Nope no loaner, but good news my car was the only one in the shop at the time so they said it would only be another ten minutes.

So I waited, and luckily my car was done really fast, so I left and found a Target near by. I ran through the store and as I hit the baby isle it hits me.. I need to go.. really need to go or I might have an accident myself! So I seriously grab the closest size 4 diapers and take off to the check out. Picture this if you will.. Me holding it, carrying a 25lb monster, diaper bag on one arm, purse and sack with diapers in the other running into the bathroom. I finally get in the stall, hang everything up and go to the bathroom while trying to keep a hold of Corbin's arm.

Uh Oh..

He broke free, ran to the door and pushed it WIDE open. Yay me.  I can hear other women in the bathroom and hear Corbin going stall by stall trying to push them all open while I'm trying to cover myself while pulling my pants up. Next task catch kid and change him. Sounds easy enough right? NO. Imagine trying to change an alligators diaper while he is thrashing around on the changing table and you're close to how hard he made it. As I'm trying to exit the bathroom while holding Corbin so he won't run away again, he decides to start hitting me in the face and laughing. I didn't have a free hand to stop him so I had to turn my head and take the beating until I reached the cart. We're really going to focus on the 'No hitting' discipline now.

We left Target both alive and well. I get him into the car and pull out of the parking lot just in time for him to start SCREAMING at the top of his lungs. Not a 'I'm in pain' or 'tired' scream, just a 'I want to be funny and make mom really mad' scream. The more I asked him to stop, yelled, or even looked at him the louder he would get. So I turned up the radio and joined in singing as loud as a I could. He finally decided I won just in time for me to look to my left (while stopped at a light) to see a car full of strangers staring at me in horror.

I couldn't help but laugh that 'I'm crazy, unstable and will cry hysterically if I don't laugh right now' laugh.

THE END.

5 comments:

The McBrides said...

ha ha ha! I'm so sorry that happened to you. If it makes you feel any better girls sometimes do the same thing. I'm sorry you had a bad night! it so frustrating to be by yourself with a monster child. I feel your pain!

jayna said...

Oh girl. I. Am. Sorry! Days like this happen...#^&^$&# happens! :) You handled it like a pro!

Amy said...

Oh Julia, this is the funniest blog post you've ever written. I love it, but I'm so sorry you had to deal with it, alligator wrestling and all ;).

Danielle Richardson said...

hahahaha!! of for the love! Julia you crack me up. i'm sorry you had to go through that alone... too bad no one replied to your "help wanted" post on facebook :p

DTanner said...

That's the worst. Got to love that age...little smarty pants.